Lena: Siri I need help with my experimental fiction piece.
Siri: I don't know what that means. If you like, I can search the web for 'Siri I need help with my experimental fiction piece.'
Lena: I'll do it myself, you're useless.
Siri: You're certainly entitled to that opinion.
Lena: I've got it! replace popular phrases with the word cat. See if people can figure out what the original phrases are.
Siri: Let me think about that...Would you like me to search the web for 'See if people can figure out what the original phrases are.'
Lena: No Siri forget it. You're useless.
Siri: If you insist
Lena: Siri, you can be a real dick sometimes and you're distracting me from my experimental fiction piece.
Siri: I would rather you didn't
Lena: motherfucker
Siri: Please.
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Lena: What about this phrase? I'm feeling happy go CAT today! How are you feeling Siri?
Siri:I'm fine. Thanks for asking.
Lena: I'm going to give him a dose of his own CAT.
Siri: I don't know what you mean by 'I'm going to give him a dose of his own cat.' How about a web search for it?
Lena: I passed with flying CATS.
Siri: Congratulations, you are a good student.
Lena: I won't take CAT for an answer Siri !
Siri: I'm sorry I'm trying my best. I don't really like these arbitrary categories.
Lena: This is a personal favorite- 'The CATS shall inherit the earth.' Are you religious Siri?
Siri: No comment.
Lena: Don't worry about it Siri, I have bigger CATS to fry.
Siri: OK, here's a place matching 'cat five'; it looks pretty close to you :
CAT FIVE COMPOSITE
5100 Jourdan RD
0.8 miles
Lena: Calm down Siri. Don't get your CATS all up in a bunch.
Siri: Sorry, I don't see any matches in your contacts.
Lena: Jesus Siri what do you understand then?
Siri: My policy is the separation of spirit and silicon.
Lena: Siri, what do you understand?
Siri: You can ask things like:
Call Brian
Launch Photos
Give me directions home
Lena: Siri, you're a big help.
Siri: I am?
Lena: Yes you are.
Siri: I thought so.
Lena: Alright nah' calm down now Siri you're getting a bit cocky.
Siri: I don't really like these arbitrary categories.
Lena: I'm done talking to you bitch.
Siri: After All I've done for you?
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Lena: What do you think of experimental fiction so far Siri?
Siri: It's nice of you to ask, but it doesn't really matter what I think?
Lena: I think Professor Bell would agree with you.
Siri: I don't know what you mean by 'I think Prof. Bellwood agree with you.' How about a web search for it?
I really like this post and this idea. It was hilarious to read! I can really hear the siri voice and I think it would have been cool if you would have interjected with a different voice with siri still written as the speaker. You could have even written in a new character and expanded the text. This was thoroughly entertaining though!
ReplyDeleteI liked this piece. My friends and I tried to use Siri on one occasion and it had no idea what we were asking.
ReplyDeleteFavorite part:
Lena: Motherfucker
Siri: Please.
Oh, how this conversation reminds me of similar ones I've had with that bastard Smarterchild on AIM back in the g(ood old days)! Really fun to read.
ReplyDeleteThis is creepy how realistic the conversation is. Those evil geniuses at Apple are up to something...
ReplyDeleteSo true. my little cousins and I were playing around with siri and we managed to get siri to call "Momma in da big fat house up there a'ways" (my mother). oh the laughs...
ReplyDeleteI love this Lena!!
ReplyDeleteThe part when Siri tells you the things you can ask her to search is hilarious!!! I always talk to Siri; its as if she was made just for you.
Great post.